10 Things No One Tells You About Life with a Newborn
10 Things No One Tells You About Life with a Newborn
(But You’ll Be Glad You Knew!)
So, you’re about to have a baby (or maybe you’re holding a tiny, squishy human right now, wondering why no one warned you about any of this). You’ve read the books, scrolled the forums, and maybe even packed your hospital bag with military precision. But let’s be real—nothing quite prepares you for the actual experience of bringing a newborn home.
Sure, people talk about the sleepless nights and the nappy changes, but there are plenty of things they don’t mention. So, here’s a little insider knowledge from the trenches—things no one tells you, but every new parent should know.
1. The Newborn “Hangover” is Real
Not for the baby—they’re fine. But you? You might feel like you’ve just run a marathon while simultaneously being hit by a truck. Whether you had a straightforward birth or a more complicated one, your body is recovering, your hormones are all over the place, and you might randomly burst into tears over the way your partner buttered toast. Totally normal.
What helps: Take it easy. Drink water, accept help, and let yourself feel all the feelings.
2. Babies Make the Weirdest Noises
Forget peaceful sleeping baby sounds. Newborns grunt, squeak, snort, and sound suspiciously like a tiny goat at times. They also breathe irregularly, which is mildly terrifying, but totally normal.
What helps: Knowing that newborn breathing is often erratic (they grow out of it) and keeping Google at arm’s length unless you want to convince yourself something is wrong when it’s not.
3. You Will Google Some Truly Ridiculous Things at 2 AM
“Can a newborn poop too much?”
“Why is my baby hiccupping so much?”
“How do I know if my baby loves me yet?”
“Can I die from exhaustion?”
Spoiler: You’re fine, your baby is fine, and yes, newborns poop a lot.
What helps: Having a trusted source (a good midwife, health visitor, or a book like The Baby Whisperer) so you don’t go down the Google rabbit hole.
4. You Might Not Instantly Feel That ‘Overwhelming Love’
Movies and Instagram make it seem like you’ll take one look at your baby and feel a tidal wave of love crash over you. For some parents, that happens. For others, it’s more of a slow burn. And that’s okay. You’re getting to know each other—it’s a relationship, and like all good ones, it takes time.
What helps: Skin-to-skin contact, talking to your baby, and knowing that love isn’t always instant, but it will come.
5. The ‘Sleep When the Baby Sleeps’ Advice is a Cruel Joke
People love to say this, but when exactly are you supposed to do the 600 other things that need doing? Eating, showering, possibly talking to another adult? Plus, some babies only sleep for 20-minute stretches, so good luck with that nap.
What helps: Accept that sleep is weird and broken in the early days. Prioritise rest when you can, but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t nap every time your baby does.
6. Nappies Lie—Poosplosion is Inevitable
You can buy the fanciest, most high-tech nappies on the market, but at some point, your baby will have a blowout so epic, you’ll consider just throwing the entire outfit (and possibly the baby) in the bin.
What helps: Always have a spare change of clothes in your bag. Always. And maybe a spare top for yourself, too.
7. Your Newborn Will Have Some Strange-Looking Features
Their skin might peel, their head might be a little misshapen, and they could have tiny baby acne. They might even look nothing like you expected. That’s all normal. Give them a few weeks, and they’ll start looking more like the adorable cherub you imagined.
What helps: Knowing that newborns are weird-looking at first, and that’s perfectly fine.
8. Leaving the House Feels Like a Military Operation
Gone are the days of grabbing your keys and walking out the door. Now, every trip requires a checklist longer than your birth plan. Nappies? Wipes? Spare clothes? Muslins? Bottles? Dummies? Your own sanity?
What helps: Keep a well-stocked nappy bag by the door, and give yourself extra time to get ready. Also, expect to forget at least one thing every time.
9. Your Body Will Still Feel a Bit... Strange
Your belly might still look pregnant for a while, your boobs might leak at the worst possible moments, and your body might just feel different. It took nine months to grow a human—it’s going to take a while to feel like yourself again.
What helps: Being kind to yourself, wearing comfy clothes, and not comparing yourself to anyone on social media.
10. You’re Doing Better Than You Think
The biggest thing no one tells you? You’ve got this. Even on the days when you feel clueless, exhausted, and overwhelmed—you are the best parent for your baby. The fact that you care means you’re already doing an incredible job.
What helps: Remembering that no one has all the answers, and every parent is just figuring it out as they go. Give yourself grace, accept support, and trust that you will find your rhythm.
Final Thoughts
The newborn phase is wild. It’s a mix of exhaustion, love, and wondering whether you’ll ever drink a hot cup of tea again. But it’s also beautiful in its own messy, magical way. One day, you’ll look back and realise you survived on little sleep, a lot of coffee, and an endless amount of love.
And in case no one has told you today—you’re doing amazing.
